This weekend was wonderful - exploring and finding things in this city that I want to be a part of. I think that we tapped into a more laid back, more creative, more optimistic scene. I am going to Laser 3.14's opening in April - he's the "guerilla poet" whose words you see on the plywood above. Friday was spent blissfully wandering the Jordaan and around Leidsestraat. At night we went out to de Duivel, which is a hip-hop bar near Rembrandtplein. Everyone there was both hip and happy, and the tiny dance floor filled up fast. Saturday was spent blissfully wandering again, this time around Dam Square and the outskirts of the Red Light District - de Warmoestraat, Zeedijk. It is really nifty that your standard fast food joint here sells noodles, chocolate-covered waffles, shoarma, falafel, frites, and sometimes pizza. You basically have the full gamut of fast food options available to you in one place. The snackbar phenomenon could really take off in America, I feel. Some of them have silly themes, like the Sphinx which is just down the street from where I live, or one that we passed a few days ago in the center city. It sold all of the above, plus I think spaghetti and ice cream, and it was called "Good Luck" and had a shamrock logo. Oh, happy St. Patty's! A surprising number of people in Amsterdam (I think 95% of them tourists) are all drunk and decked out for the holiday. I thought this was odd until I realized that they congregate around British sports bars and hotels.
Anyway after all the wandering and eating we hit up Crimejazz, which is a monthly event that has spoken word (some of it in Dutch) and different unsigned jazz and funk and hip-hop and soul musicians - here I fell in love with a man by the name of Steve Hartley, who sadly has a very minimal internet presence. He did, however, break out some wicked funky jams, and he had two bassists and a bongo player. Bianca Rose was also cool - cheerful and British, and endlessly optimistic. Oh oh oh, and a WGSS plug for those of you interested in queer of color theory and progressive gender practice! Hanifah Walidah was also there, all the way from Brooklyn - she's a queer black spoken word poet and the leader of a band called the Brooklyn Funk Essentials, and she has a documentary (U-People) which is all about the making of a music video which has the first all queer women of color cast ever.
They cleared out the tables, after the cabaret, and brought in a DJ and played all hip hop from the late eighties and early nineties - the event was called Live at the BBQ and we didn't know beforehand what we were getting into, but I'm so glad we stayed. It was such good music and everyone was so hip and happy, again. It was cool to see all the performers from the first half breaking it down on the dance floor. Also, the DJ booth was improvised out of plywood and chicken wire and there was a smiley man with the most beautiful dreads I have ever seen bouncing up and down with a mic next to the DJ. His role was just to be happy and to periodically yell things like "OWWWWW! THIS THE OLD REAL SHIT! WE BRINGIN' IT BACK!" and then he would do this really masterful trill thing with his tongue that could perhaps be best transcribed as "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAA!" He made me so happy, as did seeing so many people of different nationalities and age groups and races and repping different styles all just groovin and being happy together. This is the creative Amsterdam I want to get to know better.
A little bit of the kind of reflection that's been pouring over me the past two weeks or so, and especially the past few days - I have been listening to this song "Ovaconfident" by a really on point rapper of the mid-nineties, and the word has been ringing in my ears. With security comes concern. Recklessness was never really a possibility before, so I never had to worry about it, and now I am afraid that it might be - that I will wake up one morning and find myself having been too cavalier with too much, and whether met or zonder regret, without much left in my life that has enough substance and value to sustain me. This is, I just realized, pretty cryptic. It's because it's such an abstract fear to have, not because I'm trying to hide anthing. Don't worry. I haven't and do not intend on doing anything actually stupid - I think I have a pretty good head on my shoulders. But bravery is a new territory for me, and one that encompasses every minute arena of my world - the 99% of things that could be said to belong to the Big Bad Unknown are now better qualified as the Big Bad Discoverable. Aiiiie. What comes next?
In any case, later today I have an appointment at AMOC, which is a social work program that provides aid to drug addicts who have tenuous immigration status in the Netherlands, including an entire unit devoted to the aid of male prostitutes. I'm hoping that speaking with an organization will lead me to other organizations, and thus deeper into my project. I also have my Dutch final, and an entire paper to write, and Kabir is coming tonight. AIIIIIIIIEEE!
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